Abuser, My Story

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

I am glad to not understand or never be able to understand how people like him can sleep. About the Blog Categories Archives The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined of tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when… Continue reading The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

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Abuser, Uncategorized

Killing the Power of Secrets

 

After having been with a habitual liar, who for the majority of the five years and 8 months I was with,  gaslighted me, emotionally battered me, and physically attacked me causing severe physical and emotional damage that continues to impact my daily life, I have come to recognize how choosing to be open and forcing myself not to own the shame he has tried so hard to force upon me has been instrumental in helping me heal – None of having been with someone I loved, and sometimes I believe still do, and thought loved me makes sense when I examine his actions.  It’s hard to stomach myself having been with someone whose actions spoke volumes in what I meant to him yet I listened to his words, which eventually stripped me of any self dignity and sense of self.  It has been a long journey to finally be able to forgive myself, and accept that I am not at fault for having loved a persona.  I had to accept that I spent more then five years of my life with a man who lacked empathy, compassion and integrity.  The persona I loved was a cover up for the devoid, detached, cruel and dangerous that he is.  When someone tells you over and over that they are earnest, honest and loving, after they lied, gaslighted or physically hurt you, their intent is really to avoid having to look in the mirror since they can’t face the truth of who they really are. Knowing your truth and being able to speak it, I have come to learn, sets you free.

UndeniablySara

Secrets breed pain and misunderstanding.  Seeing your story in writing or hearing it told through spoken word denies the secret of it’s power.  Stories should be told, pain must seek relief, and the shadowy world of dark secrets needs light.

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Dear Vince…

Letter resonates...only difference is I'm still picking up the pieces...   Tyler Nix There has never been a single moment in which I wished I never met you. Even I find that hard to believe, but it’s the truth. Before you, I had nothing to hold up to the light and point to and say,… Continue reading Dear Vince…

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Dangerous Violent Criminal is who you are…

Like a well trained dog I told him it was good to hear his voice. When in fact hearing his voice reminded me of the coward that he is. It makes me sick to think that even now I act impulsively and say things not to upset him. He trained me early on that he… Continue reading Dangerous Violent Criminal is who you are…

Abuser, Uncategorized

Blood Sucking Vulture

Written by Danny Pool Falling into the abyss, fading into blackening sadness. The darkness consumes me, an infinite pain with no end in sight. A life sentence too much to bear. Don’t wake me, I’m addicted to this. Nothing else to feel, gonna be here a while. Banished to this world, abandoned and deserted. A […]… Continue reading Blood Sucking Vulture

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Lies and more lies…

  Narcissist’ s controlling and manipulation techniques Gaslighting is a subtle, underground maltreatment, that can go unnoticed by the victim until it is too late. It penetrates you but it’s difficult to identify. Gaslighting is ambiguous, diffused, it is a dangerous kind of abuse. It leave no trace and you can’t prove it. Ambient abuse is… Continue reading Lies and more lies…