Listen to your gut.

narcissistic-victim-syndrome2 The victim needs to understand that this “dance” of codependency requires two people: the pleaser/fixer (victim), and the taker/controller (narcissist/addict), together both partners dance beautifully in perfect step, and the madness begins.

“You’re crazy – that never happened.”
“Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.”
“It’s all in your head.”  Does your partner say things like this to you a lot? Do you often start questioning what’s really true – or even your own –

I was able to breath when I read this.  This is what I dealt with for 5 years.  My own fault for staying but this explains the crap I stayed with.  When I started to challenge him on these traits he became violent.  WOW!

PRO TIP: Covert manipulators love to start conversations with:  “ I’m concerned about you.” “I care about you.” “I’m worried about you.” “I just want what’s best for you.” This type of passive aggressive communication is a strategy used by covert manipulators as a way to level up their dominance, to intimidate the target, to put the target on the defensive, and to instill self-doubt. Manipulators want to control the target’s emotions and actions.
74d02d8aeb99512dd0a1b3d0aae56a74Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb.