The victim needs to understand that this “dance” of codependency requires two people: the pleaser/fixer (victim), and the taker/controller (narcissist/addict), together both partners dance beautifully in perfect step, and the madness begins.
“You’re crazy – that never happened.”
“Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.”
“It’s all in your head.” Does your partner say things like this to you a lot? Do you often start questioning what’s really true – or even your own –
I was able to breath when I read this. This is what I dealt with for 5 years. My own fault for staying but this explains the crap I stayed with. When I started to challenge him on these traits he became violent. WOW!