Perhaps I don’t need to worry about forgiving him, but rather forgiving myself, and learning to make peace and feeling comfortable in my own skin when I admit I did love him. I still love the person I thought he was. I have never felt that way before - I cared for him when he… Continue reading It’s okay to admit I loved him.
I’m not great at expressing myself when it comes to trying to describe how the emotional abuse I endured during the 5.5 years I was with my abuser, Vince Beggs, has impacted my life. But today, being seven floors underground in the heart of the World Trade Center, within the archaeological space where the 9/11 Museum’s… Continue reading What being emotionally raped and gutted feels like
I am in New York with my daughter. We took the bus which was a first for me since I usually drive, but can’t anymore thanks to my abuser and the violence he unleashed on me December 2016. I realized when I leave DC I'm able to breath, feel alive and truly feel he's somewhat… Continue reading Empty Cold Eyes
A person who does this should probably look into why. It’s not always everyone else’s fault. On Apr 17, 2013, at 5:01 PM, Vesta <email@example.com> wrote: The mind works in mysterious ways...months ago you shared Christine's desire for you to explore your childhood in order to "fix" your dysfunctions responsible for causing the marriage to fail.… Continue reading Christine should take her own advice!
This is almost one year before the CUM Bag email. What I pick up in what I wrote him is an enormous amount of fear. Fear of losing him. Fear of not being what he wanted me to be. Fear of not wanting to end the feeling he gave me during the honeymoon stage. God!… Continue reading It’s hard to read my own words…my fear…
Want to see what happens after years of gaslighting, devaluation and constant lies. I cry for myself as I stumbled upon this email tonight - what he was doing to me caused unbearable pain - the hell I lived in without knowing what was happening was an absolute nightmare. Looking back, it is horrifying not… Continue reading September 15, 2014 – Cum bag…
Not only did she acknowledge what Vince did to me as abuse, but she pointed out at a court hearing that what I am saying may impact something she's very proud of having. As much pain as she has caused me I now smile because those who will come knocking someday will not give a… Continue reading Grateful for Christine Beggs