Abuser, My Story

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

I am glad to not understand or never be able to understand how people like him can sleep. About the Blog Categories Archives The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined of tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when… Continue reading The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

Abuser, Uncategorized

Killing the Power of Secrets


After having been with a habitual liar, who for the majority of the five years and 8 months I was with,  gaslighted me, emotionally battered me, and physically attacked me causing severe physical and emotional damage that continues to impact my daily life, I have come to recognize how choosing to be open and forcing myself not to own the shame he has tried so hard to force upon me has been instrumental in helping me heal – None of having been with someone I loved, and sometimes I believe still do, and thought loved me makes sense when I examine his actions.  It’s hard to stomach myself having been with someone whose actions spoke volumes in what I meant to him yet I listened to his words, which eventually stripped me of any self dignity and sense of self.  It has been a long journey to finally be able to forgive myself, and accept that I am not at fault for having loved a persona.  I had to accept that I spent more then five years of my life with a man who lacked empathy, compassion and integrity.  The persona I loved was a cover up for the devoid, detached, cruel and dangerous that he is.  When someone tells you over and over that they are earnest, honest and loving, after they lied, gaslighted or physically hurt you, their intent is really to avoid having to look in the mirror since they can’t face the truth of who they really are. Knowing your truth and being able to speak it, I have come to learn, sets you free.


Secrets breed pain and misunderstanding.  Seeing your story in writing or hearing it told through spoken word denies the secret of it’s power.  Stories should be told, pain must seek relief, and the shadowy world of dark secrets needs light.


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His crazy ex and how she handled the wedgie…hope the two reunite!

In recent days I have been going over emails, not to rehash, but to re assure myself of what really happened versus his spin he tried and shove down my throat - Self doubt is the result of having been subjected to years of gaslighting, manipulation and guilt trips without realizing or understanding what was… Continue reading His crazy ex and how she handled the wedgie…hope the two reunite!

Abuser, Uncategorized

Blood Sucking Vulture

Written by Danny Pool Falling into the abyss, fading into blackening sadness. The darkness consumes me, an infinite pain with no end in sight. A life sentence too much to bear. Don’t wake me, I’m addicted to this. Nothing else to feel, gonna be here a while. Banished to this world, abandoned and deserted. A […]… Continue reading Blood Sucking Vulture

Abuser, My Story, Uncategorized

I’m laughing but it’s not funny..

He writes this, gives me jewelry and tells me he loves me so much he's risking going to jail for me.  Goes home and lies to everyone including his "therapist" and makes it seem like he's the victim who was being chased.  It's disturbing, isn't it? When I learn more details and am able to… Continue reading I’m laughing but it’s not funny..

Abuser, Uncategorized


I had an eye opening appointment last week trying to understand what makes the abuser I was with tic.  He didn't fit the profile of a typical narcissist or someone with conflict avoidance since he had both traits.  I am not a psychologist nor was the abuser ever examined but what I described of my… Continue reading WOW!