This is where one would hope change would take place. This is where we do what is uncomfortable despite how comfortable it feels. Breaking the cycle of abuse is difficult and as I am learning there are only a few brave enough to with the discomfort.
After he and Christine, his ex wife, separated, instead of working on himself and his fatal flaws, he decided to go on a diet, lose 90 pounds, cycle like a mad man since he wasn’t eating to soothe anymore, and look for another woman aka supplier. That’s where I come in.
Just like his new supplier, Jessica, he sold me on thinking I was special and I became his biggest supporter despite warnings from his mother, ex wife and sister, I stood by my man as he emotionally raped and gutted me, not having any idea what was happening to me. The only difference between me and Jessica is that she has the data, plus we have a mutual health care provider who is not at all related to Vince that she respects who can validate the depth of the injuries I sustained. I assumed an educated, self sufficient woman would be smarter, but then I thought I was smart too and look where I ended up. Her fate will not differ and sooner than later, she will assume the title of the “unstable” ex who isn’t getting over him because in his narrative the abuser has a false sense of grandiose.
And yes, I was angry at first, and that’s okay. I mean, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! This guy destroyed my inner ear and caused brain damage yet she has justified his actions and chalked them up to a one time incident, and doesn’t believe that’s enabling him. It’s hurtful but then I need to focus on sharing my story with people who are capable of change and willing to learn. Jessica is not and doesn’t realize she is one of the reasons why the cycle of abuse continues the way it does.
I can also now see why Christine didn’t like me. Just as Jessica has been lied to by Vince into believing I am a horrible and crazy woman, I thought the same of Christine because that’s what he led me to believe. I bought the lies that she was having a hard time dealing with the divorce and was unstable, but thanks to Jessica I now understand why she was so angry when she was forced to defend herself – I am now defending myself, trying to prove it’s not about my caring for him but rather because he turned my life upside down, created chaos and moved on as if my life was meaningless. He has devastated me and my children by his action and it’s baffling and incomprehensible that he doesn’t have an ounce of remorse or sorrow or desire to show humility. Vincent Beggs is an evil individual and I feel sorry for Jessica in the sense that she still hasn’t learned the lesson the universe is trying to teach her. She is repeating her relationship that is within the same comfort zone that she knows how to be in, and that’s sad.
Jessica will someday be exactly where I am, she will owe me an apology just as I owe Christine an apology for not believing her when she tried to warn me about Vince. I reacted by being even more supportive because I thought she was jealous, which now I understand could not be further from the truth. She had every right to be angry at him for the way he abandoned his family in not doing what it took to try and save it. He should have gone into major therapy and addressed why he did what he did, instead he cycled and found a new supplier, me.
Below are exchanges from his ex girlfriend from the late 80’s early 90’s, his ex wife and Jessica along with a few of his texts about his ex. She was unstable. I am now unstable so it’s easy to read into the future because Jessica will also be unstable.
Exchange between me and Melissa, his girlfriend from the late 80’s early 90’s. My search for validation.
Me: I read what you wrote him – I read your desperate ask for him to show you he cared. I read the comments about the sex and his need to cool off afterwards. His mother referred to you as selfish. she’s a monster as well. I just want to know so please talk to me. Please….
Melissa: What you read in the letters is the extent of the reasons for our relationship ending.
From Christine to him:
“You were not truthful with me in our first conversation about why Dr needed to speak with the other **********. Given what is at stake it is not acceptable for you to lie to me about these things. This kind of omission constitutes a lie. If there is any additional information you are withholding, please inform me immediately.
From Jeff, his colleague and friend since 2006.
January 2017 – “Did Vince lie to you? I’m sure he did. Vince is a master-avoider. He’ll say and do things to get out of the situation – probably even lie and manipulate because he’s a smart guy. But the reason he does this is not to try to make you crazy, but to selfishly escape his immediate problems and push them down the road. The problem with this strategy is that he can’t keep pushing his problems down the road and they will eventually catch up with him, which they have.”
Last, but not least, his own voice admitting to what he did.