Interchangeable parts. Don’t be a Mary Jo.

0A51E127-A832-4390-A50F-C8D5BF96E68EJust as he charmed me over our first dinner, when he told his first lie about his marriage having truly ended, I imagine he sat with her at probably the same counter and bar stool he sat with me, sharing a Pizza, drinking a beer, “talking.” Charming her with his victim narrative before taking her home. Creature of habits don’t change. He made her feel close because he “shared.” What he shared though is the narrative that paints him to be the victim,  me to be the unstable ex GF who is lying about everything.  And, just as I did, Jessica, the new supply source, gravitates towards people like him, and sadly has fallen for it by justifying his actions as “circumstantial.” Same mistake made in her marriage.

It’s surreal to watch the new source of supply act in the same manner as I did. It is as though I am watching the relationship I had re-play itself with someone much weaker and desperate to be loved than I was.  I don’t say that to be cruel but I didn’t have hard data that verified his ex-wife’s warnings.  To ignore what is in front of her is a choice she  made and as someone who we both know recently said, “Jessica is a grown woman and she will pay the price for her choices.”


The similarities between the start of his relationship with me in comparison to hers are eerie as he took control by omitting crucial facts and building the foundation of both relationships on lies.  Omissions that should not be omitted if his conscious was clear but someone with his traits is simply not capable of thinking of anyone else or their well being but themselves.  He will not give a damn once she realizes what a fool she’s been, he will move on to the next supplier, characterizing Jessica as “unstable” and unable to move forward. That is his pattern.  It wasn’t a coincidence that those words were how he described his ex wife and now me.

Just as I did for so long Jessica is now his number one enabler and just as I didn’t believe his ex wife, his mother or sister when they tried to warn me, she can’t fathom this soft spoken guy being the monster that made fun of his ex wife’s weight gain commenting on her “fat ass” or how he punished her by not talking to her or that her anxiety level was high because communicating with him was treacherous.  I couldn’t believe he had done those things but that’s what it wasn’t too long before that became my reality when he made fun of me saying I had Tourette syndrome or called me a cunt.  Jessica will also get a taste of this evil man in time because she isn’t special, just as I wasn’t nor his ex wife nor any other woman before her. Jessica is just like the rest of us, an interchangeable part.

He sat with Christine in Tuscany eating Tagliolini with bolognese sauce sipping red wine after a long day of cycling. A scenario he told me he wanted to do with me. He would text tons of pictures of whatever he was doing to “share” everything he saw because he wanted to see everything with me (I’m gonna throw up in my mouth now) With Jessica it is learning all of the trails she knows and that she now eagerly wants to show him not realizing he has probably ridden a few already. This is the love bombing part that she will want to re create.  Christine was an attractive woman when she married him and by the end of their marriage gained at least 60 or 70 pounds if not more.  I was in the best shape of my life when I began dating him and now I am 15 pounds heavier without muscle tone because I can barely engage in any type of physical activity.  Jessica’s fate will be no different because she will spend the majority of their relationship getting back to the days when he wants to learn the trails,  or go to Majorca to cycle, then sit on top of some hill to eat paella and drink Spanish wine and take a selfie just as he did with me and with Christine.  People don’t change.   Ugly patterns don’t change.

Interchangeable parts, that’s all we are.


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