Sharing the nightmare we survived is the only way to bring upon change where it matters. It has taken me two years to realize I will never ever get my abuser to show what I need most from him, remorse. He’s simply not capable – The last two weeks have been incredibly insightful after watching another woman who has all the data she needs to stay away from him, gravitate even more towards him. Despite describing her ex husband, she still chose to engage in a romantic relationship with my ex abuser. It was through her actions that enabled me to see how I acted after his family tried to warn me about him. I was going to be different because I was special. That’s what he made me believe because we could “talk” and “share” for hours. It’s the same line he is feeding Jessica because they have cycling in common so they “bond” – It made me sad for me because I saw the desperation I once felt in wanting to be good enough. It made me sad and pity her because if she was “different” he would not be lying to her about what he did to me or where we are in our legal battles. He lied to her and he will use her just as he used me. He lied to me from the beginning hoping to never get caught. He knows he will get caught by her because she is now my witness in our case, yet he’s willing to use her for what he needs. And, with that I was done focusing on people who were going to believe what they were going to believe because he’s really good at lying. I decided it’s time to focus on the big picture in making sure those who need to get the training and education they need to make sure the mistakes that were made in my case are never made again. He’s simply not worth my time or energy anymore and I will beat him where it matters.
That said, please check out https://www.breakthesilencedv.org/category/break-your-silence/ and share your story because that is the only path to change.