“You wrote that I should shove that advice and you are right. You wrote that you deserve an apology for that and you are right. Please accept my apology. I am truly sorry.”
No one knows how much the apology I received meant to me.  It gave me hope that maybe it will okay. No, it wasn’t from the abuser but one of his ex enablers.

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Dear Abuser,

Humiliating me when you have maimed me,  painting me as crazy, trivializing the violence that’s caused so much disruption, lying about what happened when every text and email and recording say what happened, isn’t working out too well.  Perhaps, instead of thinking you are always right, you may try a different path.  For example, seeking REAL help and talking about the deep rooted issues that have you in the same cycle for your entire life.

How do you think Jessica or whoever the next supplier is that you are working on right now will feel when they learn the foundation of your relationship is based on fallacies.  Do you think you’re just going to bike for the rest of your life and never face yourself.  Is that why it’s so perfect with your friendship with Joyce.  Joyce and everyone else who you have dragged into this by lying, will not want to be near you once they learn who you really are. You have lied to them and they are now spreading your lies – that’s defamation.

You have humiliated me from day one, but for you to do it after you maimed me demonstrates how cold and calculated you truly are.  I don’t love the person that you are.  I am still hating you but soon you will be nothing to me.  I just can’t yet not have your evil eyes pop in my head because I have to deal with my new limitations that were a result of your inability to control my thoughts and feelings.  I stopped enabling you and started to point out your lies and you couldn’t handle it.  So, keep on trying to be everything Jessica or whoever wants you to be.  Be what you think they want you to be since you tried to be what you thought I wanted you to be, and just like us, and  Christine you’ll lose interest when you get your fix.  Isn’t that why she dragged you to therapy a couple of years into your marriage because you were disconnected.  I believe those were your words.  It won’t last long, but I bet after reading this you’ll try harder and harder because nothing stirs you up more than rejection and so you will try harder and harder to feel accepted to calm the little boy in you who was always blamed for his mother’s emotions.  You need to have a woman in your life to validate your existence while you and she blame the ex.  I did that with you and I regret it.   The more Christine rejected you the harder you tried and the more you sucked me in, and you’ll do it again because you haven’t done anything different now, versus when you split with her.  You are the same inept human being who thinks he knows everything, and yes, even though I don’t like Christine, I owe her an apology for not believing her when she talked about how emotionally disconnected you were. I should have listened to your mother who said I didn’t know what I was getting into.  I should have listened to your sister who said you are missing something because you  say things that are just horrible.  I should have listened to all of them when they called you an asshhole.  You are not just an asshole but you are ruthless, cruel, without an ounce of integrity and ethics.  You are despicable.  You are a liar.  You are disgusting.  You are a horrible father and an atrocious example for your sons.  You are a disgrace to the humankind, Vince.

I feel sorry for Jessica and whoever comes next because you will destroy her.  That is just who you are – Are you just evil or selfish?  You are both.

It’s not about accepting you for who you are.  It’s about your inability to have an ounce of empathy for anyone to connect to them. You don’t know what doing the right thing is because you live in fear.  Just because you can climb a hill, doesn’t make you a strong individual.  It’s just a distraction just as it has ever been. You are emotionally devoid.  Something is wrong with you for not wanting to seek help for not telling Christine about what happened in Iowa.  Something is wrong with you for not reflecting and looking inwards to seek proper help.  Something is wrong with you for the games you played with my head, and the games you continue to play knowing I have PTSD and am struggling with the injuries you inflicted upon me.  I am sure that every person you have tainted their view of me will see right through you as will the Alexandria PD and City Council and assembly men and whoever I choose to share my story with in hopes that they will never ever let someone like you get away with what you have done to another victim.  I am just getting started. I created a facebook page today, @vinceandvesta.  It’s not published yet but I hope it will be finished in the next week.  I am switching to non-profit mose soon because there in no way in HELL I am going to allow the maiming you have done to go without having a higher cause.  My children shouldn’t suffer for nothing.  I shouldn’t suffer for nothing.  My motivation for getting better has always been my children, but now it is also so that I can make a difference and bring justice for other women so they never ever have to go through what you’ve put me through. So thanks Vincent Beggs, Wells Fargo VP, and the great ex·tra·or·di·naire cyclist.

#timesup Mr. abuser. You’ve had two years to show you are going to change how you do things.  You had a choice to use this horrible experience to better yourself but instead you chose the same ol same ol.  Lying, deception, omission and being a ruthless cruel and barbaric animal.  You could have spent this time with a real psychologist who is capable of handling you.  Instead you pedaled faster and faster and got in with the popular kid who made you feel great because she is an idiot who bought your story.  How will Joyce feel when she  realizes who you are and what you’ve lied about? What will everyone think Vince?  You’ve spent your money on bogus suits because you didn’t have the balls to deal with a situation in a mature way.

Keep doing what you’ve been doing for your entire life and runaway from your problems and hardships because it’s much easier than facing the pain you have.  The dysfunctions that were ingrained in you by your mother and father are the same dysfunctions you have passed onto your sons.  You are not confident.  You are a scared coward because only cowards do what you did and handle it as you have.