My intent when I began this blog was to stop Vincent Beggs, my ex boyfriend of 5.5 years, to leave me alone.  I thought if I exposed the games he plays underneath the facade, I would be able to heal in peace, but that’s not how it worked out! The more open I was with the craziness, the higher the ante.  More on that later…

Then, I realized I needed to purge and get it all out so I overshared, by sharing every little details of the tsunami I was in for 5.5 years.  It was a difficult shift to make considering I had been muzzled for so long – Talking honestly about what I experienced and my feelings brought up much pain, but I didn’t want to come across as weak, hence the sarcasm.  It’s easier to to be sarcastic then it is to sit with the reality of a situation in which I was emotionally raped and gutted and physically maimed.  I also can’t talk about the extent of the injuries he causes as we are in litigation.  Frankly, I shouldn’t be here at all but I these days I don’t have many outlets and am isolated given the extent of the injuries. All I can say is what he already knows which is that he caused severe brain trauma and destroyed my inner ear.  I use vestibular trauma to describe issues with my inner ear but that is not the entire diagnosis. What he has destroyed has left me unable to live my life to the fullest.  If you hear resentment, it’s because I am resentful that he is out there riding his bike, moving forward with his life as I face the grim consequences of his inability to control his temper.  The violence he inflicted upon me is something that is now a part of me and it’s with that realization that I am moving towards acceptance that this is now my new norm.  As I gradually reach that pivotal point to let go of proving he’s a monster and a liar, I am beginning to think and focus on bringing awareness to how society treats victims of domestic abuse, by way of sharing the nightmare I survived. I refuse to let this go, and I am going to make sure my story is heard and that somehow I contribute to change in a society that emotionally rapes and guts victims a second time around, stripping us of any dignity that was left.   Society, and those who knowingly support abusers must recognize and own their part in what keeps some of us in abusive relationships, and gets some of us killed.

I am hoping that others will be encouraged to share their story without fear because that is the only way we are going to be able to bring about change. That’s my goal, but I still find myself purging considering the physical damage he caused impacts my daily life and has caused hurt for my children.

On December 21, 2016, my ex boyfriend of 5.5 years, Vince Beggs, violently assaulted me. He was arrested for assault, and pleaded the case to a lower charge largely because I was a an emotional mess, traumatized with a concussion and unable to get it together long enough to gather emails, texts, and other evidence for the CommonWealth Attorney’s office to prove his guilt.  That, and he got to me by breaking the no contact order when he showed up at a coffee shop in the same building as my old neurologist with flowers and all.  He wooed me and fooled me into believing he cared.  He entered into a plea agreement that placed him on probation for one year, mandated that he take anger management courses, which in my opinion did nothing for him beside empower him to be more emotionally abusive, and to stay away from me for life.  That’s where I made yet another huge mistake when I fell AGAIN for his lies. Vince managed to trick me into having the no contact order removed from his plea agreement by dangling the fact that he was going to be paying for my medical bills plus he was still madly in love with me so he wasn’t ready to end it. He said what I needed to hear and just like that asked the CW attorney to remove the no contact order part of the plea.    If you dissect what I just said, you will be able to see the assault as  devaluing  and the aftermath the love bombing until he gained back control, and then discarded and we did it all over again and again until I said no more, but let him tell you it was him that broke it off.  He’s got issues so let him believe what he needs to because he’s not strong enough to handle the truth – As I was saying, I had to enter a day program because I knew I needed to leave but couldn’t since he made me feel as though everything was my fault.  It took a month long program for me to say no more, but it wasn’t easy, and even today, he gets in my head.

Recovery from narcissistic abuse is not easy so be good to yourselves.

The wall next to the door is where he threw me and where I hit my head so hard that it destroyed my inner ear. The email is to a designer buying me jewelry for my birthday.  Card is for my birthday he gave to me over dinner at the Majestic in Alexandria, VA .  The pic of his back was taken February 4 when we spent the night together and the email is from December 4, 2017 of him trying to explain he’s not tracking me. The screenshots of his web site is just that…Oh yes, not only did I he make me a blog but a spotify playlist.  He fooled me over and over and over and over again!

Knowing we were going to be litigating for the maiming he is responsible for he has continued to try and play with my heart and mind.  He created a blog. He created Spotify playlists after he filed a bogus complaint with the magistrate making false accusations. He showed up at a restaurant I go to and talked to my friend for hours telling him about his travel plans to Vegas.  And when none of that worked he has turned to using the court system to try and gain the upper hand – He has painted me as a jilted lover and people believe him because that’s how good he is.  Nobody wants to believe this monster threw me so hard that it destroyed my inner ear that I am still in therapy for – I have been told I may never be able to drive or ride a bike.  How do I stop feeling disgusted with the man that has caused so much pain in my life?  I don’t know but I keep trying.

 

This is how he talks to me when no one is watching. This is Not Normal Behavior and it scares me.

https://www.tapeacall.com/kwr9hc2cwu

If you think it couldn’t get any worse, read the message below sent by an anonymous individual who used my deceased grandmother’s name for the sender’s first name, and the name of a Persian restaurant in San Francisco as the last name.  Vince, his ex wife and their lawyer knew who this was as they were in communication with her, but failed to let us know even though they knew I had filed a police report.

He scares me – He simply scares me and he knows it and the only way I will ever feel safe is to be far far away from here as I possibly can get.  I wish I could scrub his filth off my body.

On May 4, 2018 Angela Plemmons Ramos, a 50 year old Barbara Morgan Stem Academy Teacher in Meridian, Idaho sent the message below via wordpress around 2 am.  The message is pretty pathetic given the person was up at 2 am, creating a fake email address and is giving me a sermon on letting go and being honest with myself.  Perhaps they should look in a mirror.  And to bring God into it…don’t let me go on.  Bizzare.  Oh,  I don’t have vestibular damage.  I use the term vestibular trauma to describe my inner ear issues and while it’s one of the diagnosis, I have never shared online what the actual term for what is causing the major issues I continue to have.  The harm that he caused are permanent  so shame on Angie Plemmons for doing what she does best.  Open her mouth without  knowing all of the facts.  Shame on you.  Shame of the ruthlessness you showed.  You are disgusting and despicable – Expected more from a woman who comes from an abusive home where her mother and grandmother were severely abused by her father and grandfather.  Really disgusting…

Sholeh Maykadeh commented on My gut tells me ante will go up

Vesta,
Why are you doing all of this? You are wasting your time and energy on negativity and vindictiveness. Negativity negatively rewires the brain. This is time and energy that would be better spent channeling it into positives, such as making memories for and spending quality time with &&&&&&, and Dave. Furthermore, don’t you think it would feel really good to look in the mirror and know that the person who you see looking back at you is telling the truth not only to others, but also being honest with herself, rather than fabricating false scenarios and repeating nearly thirty year old patterns and habits?  I can’t imagine that the outcome will be in your favor. In fact, I’m quite surprised that you don’t already have a defamation and libel suit against you for your continuous posts, each of which equates to a separate charge. Do you think that that anyone is going to believe your bogus claims that Vince did vestibular damage, when everyone knows that it it is linked to &&&&, as well as @@@@@ Who do you think you are fooling?  At some point we all have to be honest with ourselves and own the wrongs that we have done in order to truly heal. When will your time be? I am asking you to please remove any and all wrongful posts and to do the right thing. You don’t see any of Vince’s associates partaking in public shaming. They certainly could, and you would deserve it. However, they choose the high road. I would suggest that you choose to do the same. May God give you the strength to release the bitterness, redirect, and endure your broken heart as it mends.

Sigh…I’m here to feel safe, to gain my sanity back and to make sure that somehow I contribute to a positive change so people like him feel no longer can get away with the things they have done.  I am tired of people expecting me not to talk about the abuse because it comes across as though I am angry.  No shit.  I am angry.  This guy damaged my  brain in a fit of rage and destroyed my inner ear. He has stolen my sense of safety and my children’s sense of security away, and I’m not supposed to be mad.  I can’t go to the grocery store when I want to because I can no longer drive because of the damages he has caused my brain, and that’s the least of my problems.  

I am here because victims, including myself are abused a second time around by society and it needs to stop, and the only way it will is if we stop being ashamed and openly talk about what we went through and include the ugly details.  I’m tired of Vince telling his delusional version of the story, defaming me while he privately does things that continue to confuse and re-traumatize me.  His enablers believe him because on the outside he’s a lamb, but they don’t live my life and experience the consequences that I now have because of this dangerous man. They will never see the monster I was with because he cares about facade and what people think.  He needs his enablers to believe the lies he’s telling himself so he can continue to ignore his demons.

So, the next time you (his enablers) see him,  ride with him or have dinner, own doing it knowing the violence he unleashed on me and everything he has done since to keep me prisoner. Own it! Don’t pretend.  Don’t not mention it because it’s none of your business. People need to take a stand so that women don’t stay in abusive relationships that sometimes gets us killed. Vince Beggs almost killed me, that night by refusing to let go of my neck and then the next 7 months as he psychologically tortured me in hopes to push me to kill myself.  His text, telling me to “do it” to put him out of his misery speaks for itself.  So own that and know you have a responsibility to stop the abuse and you do that by not enabling abusers.

I’m reaching out to every  woman who has been through this in hope that together we can bring upon change. #stopshamingtheabused