“And I have a feeling there is an element of vindictiveness.”

DANGER: She w2ill go back before the next weekend so I will need to find another option to watch the kids for the Back Roads Century if I decide to stll do it.
10:27 PM Have not been able to get Christine off the position that the kid should not be at the Tri.
 me: i’m glad she’s coming out to help.
  oh really
10:28 PM i’m sorry
 DANGER: Missed opportunity for the kids and I get to finish to no body. Kinda sucks all around. Will continue to press that,
 me: vince…
10:29 PM does this mean the kids wont be able to go to any of your races
  what is the big deal
 DANGER: Not necessarily, but somehow this one is not allowed. It’s irrational
10:30 PM And I have a feeling there is an element of vindictiveness.
10:31 PM Got a mini lecture on how if I wanted to set a good example I should go play ball with hem or go golfing with them or schedule a playdate. I blew a gasket.
 me: Oh my god!
  Are you kidding me
  what did you say
10:32 PM DANGER: “I do not need you to tell me how tobe a role model to my kids.” Nothing else. She apologized.
 me: I’m glad
10:34 PM DANGER: She has done that for a long time. If I do something active with the kids that the kids don’t necessarily wnt to do, somehow that’s not a good role model. There is something in her head that believes I need to be somebody else. Some model of a husband andfather s has in her head that I am not.
  I don’t golf. I don’t really like fising. I do lots of other things.
10:35 PM I will play baseball, but the kids don’t like it. But somehow that’s becuase I am not in the backyard of te house with the white picket fence throwing the ball to the kids I am a failure. It’s BS, I don’t play into it but it’s wat I have to deal with wit her.
10:36 PM Sorry, blabbering again. Just frustrated.
OH HE PLAYED INTO IT! He lies to himself because he can’t face his pain.  HE focused on “fixing” EVERYTHING SHE had found he needed to improve.  But it was all pretense.  A show but I think she bought it.
 me: I would love to come watch you finish if you are comfortable. There will be so many people there I don’t think you’ll run into her, and at this point even if you do, whether it was me or somebody else, does it really matter? Kids are one thing but exes are totally different.
10:37 PM DANGER: I am going to still work on getting them there but if cannot, that might be reall nice.
  Well, it would be really nice.
10:38 PM me: I want them to be there too and I hope you push for it. My impression is that the happier you are, the more independent you become, the less catering you become the more control she’s going to assert.
10:39 PM Most divorced parents don’t get to dictate what the other does. It would be one thing if it was really dangerous like sky diving. I would go to court over that..lol but come on…
10:40 PM i know it’s important to you and i want you to get what you want.
10:41 PM DANGER: I am going to keep bringing it up. It keeps bugging me. Her logic is flawed. She wants to seta god model for them, she wants them to be active, and then she says she dos not wnt them to be there because she is worriedthey wll be bored and not want to walk all the way there.
10:42 PM So insted they will sit at home and play vido games that morning… brilliant
10:43 PM Cant think of a more obviously flawwed logic than that
10:44 PM I do a good job of putting things behind me once I have decide on something. Problem with this one is it’s not me deciding so it just keeps rattling around.
10:45 PM Wish she were leaving a week earlier.
10:47 PM me: yes, the logic is totally flawed. i think it’s personal and it’s about control and it would be interesting to see how she handles it if you stepped out of your normal role of the easy going nice guy – would it be war if you tell her you don’t agree with her and that you’re going to take them especially because you have them.
 DANGER: I think I am working from home tomorrow. Going to run and swim in the morning I think. Have to work out some frustrations…as you can tell.
 me: your face muscles are probably getting a workout.
10:48 PM DANGER: Ha. I just finished 8 pieces of gum in the last30 minutes.
  And wnt through a pack ealier tody.
10:49 PM me: I suggested stepping outside of your role because that’s what I finally had to do, and with it came freedom. boundaries are good – that was my lesson learned –
10:53 PM I really hate gogle chat.
  I lose characters all he time when I type fast.
10:54 PM I type better than this.
10:55 PM I am going to switch to Chrome in a second and see if it’sany better in their ow browser.
  Will see if that is any better

6 minutes

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