I’m Vesta, a mother of 2, woman full of life, laughter and joy. I have a good heart and always want to do what I can to help. I am also a woman hoping to find herself back to being the carefree free spirit who was deeply scared after a 5.5 year relationship with this man. The man I once called my green-eyed man, because I loved his eyes, turned out to be the man who mutilated me during our 5.5 years together. I was the supplier picked 8 months after he separated from his wife after their 14 year marriage. Only problem was he failed to mention that they hadn’t agreed to divorce. That came four months after we began dating, and if you can believe it, took another 2 years before I learned about it. Sadly, it wasn’t the last time he lied – lying for him is second nature, he does it with ease, just like taking his next breath…natural. He is a pathological liar, and his close friend, Jeff thinks so as well as did his ex wife since he omitted major details about something very tragic.
My sweet friend Carey sent screenshots of his dating profile on Bumble. Besides posting pictures from 3-5 years ago, he forgets to mention the advice his mother gave me when she warned me about not knowing what I was getting into, calling him an asshole the very first time I met her. As a matter of facts his ex said the same thing, adding that he was detached, devoid of emotion, selfish and unable to look at his patterns. Looking back my experience with him included constant emotional abuse, severe gas lighting and punishment when he didn’t get his way or when I dared to question him. Finally, he chose violence when he lost his inability to control his anger when he was challenged for telling another lie. He has a different story but facts are facts, and he can’t make those go away.
No, I’m not jealous nor resentful nor confused about whether he loved me or not. He didn’t because he doesn’t have the capacity to. He’s great at first but when it gets too hard to keep up the facade and he has you where he wants, he will destroy you. For me, he’s now just the guy who beat me. The violent guy who emotionally gutted me without giving a crap. He’s a weak soul without courage, integrity, honor or ethics. The facts documented in our relationship clearly document who he really is. I don’t need his version anymore. I don’t need to ask why. I have always had the answers in front of me but I was under his control and now I don’t need anything from him because he’s not capable of telling the truth nor facing himself as a flawed individual. Just as he did with me, he decided to start dating. The story he will tell you is that he broke it off with me because I was jealous of his ex wife and didn’t want him to have a relationship with her. I can tell that by his announcing on his profile that he states he “co-parents” Just as he did with me he will make plans in the beginning, nice dinners, theater, will talk to you about trips and wanting to see things with you. He promised me Tuscany, Paris, Spain, and everything in between. I hung on waiting for him to show me that his words weren’t empty. You are probably just like me or his ex GF before the wife. You may think you’re different and that it will be different. You will think he loves you and is able to connect with you like he hasn’t with anyone else. The pattern I noticed with him was that each time he lied he wanted to have sex multiple times. Like 7 or 8 times. He was all over me after coming home from Chicago that first year. Little did I know he had lied. We had lots of sex after he attacked me only to turn it around to say I was a whore. He told me he shaved his pubic hair because he knew we were going to have sex around mother’s day, and wanted to surprise me when I saw him, after his parents left. Only problem with that story was we weren’t talking and did not have any plans to see each other. We met for coffee to try and reconcile but ended up in bed. Liar.
I wish I would have listened to the warnings his mother, ex wife and sister gave me, but I thought I was special. I thought their motive was because they were trying to break us up, but then they warned me long before things went south between us (me and the ex and mom)
My abuser, the man is this picture can’t be alone – He needs to be worshiped and wanted, and he needs to put his spin on every story. He needs to control every scenario and he is desperate for a new supplier who I I am scared for because he is dangerous. – He is a dangerous, violent criminal. He will always be a dangerous violent criminal and he will destroy whoever he is with, without giving a damn. Obviously, I can’t go chasing every girl he’s dating to warm them since it’s illegal, but he’s simply not worth thinking about. He is irrelevant. However, if by some miraculous way you find your way here, and decide to reach out, I’ll be happy to share my experience and everything I have because I know you have been told an earful and you need to make sure I can be trusted. I am happy to sign a release and let let you talk to my psychologist and neurologist – that way you can get the full scope of what being with him did to me and what he has continue to do to harm me until April of this year. I will show you the messages he sent. I’ll show you everything that will debunk every word that came out of his mouth. I know what he’s like so believe that I am not the jilted lover that he’s made me out to be and that I want nothing to do with him. To me he is a filthy individual who I hope to never see again. I really wish all of this was made up as he likes to point out, but in reality it’s a matter of life or death because he almost killed me, both physically and emotionally.