#nomoreshamingtheabused – kinda like that!

Can’t miss kudos, likes, or the praise, but most important, can’t miss The MASTER’S TEXT! no no no…:) In the mornings, it ALWAYS accompanied me into the bathroom. Even during my 3 a.m pee break! Gotta have it cause It’s the only thing I’m connected to.

I’ll die if I don’t make myself laugh. I have a blog, unfuck yourself .   I’m thinking about writing satire because I’m good at it.  I like sarcasm and I makes myself laugh.  Whatever the subject.  Not focused on my abuser but just random things – you know a site where I can say all the things I wish I could say – the inner dialogue we have, but wouldn’t dare say out loud.  Yeah, that one. I remembered today  I can be pretty funny so maybe I need to try and laugh more.

from: vince@gmail.com
to: vesta@gmail.com
date:Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 8:14 AM

Just had time to read this this morning. That is scary about *&^%. I had a scare when I got back to Christine‘s from Valentines day.  Neither were in their beds and &&&& had made up his bed with things under the covers to look a little like he was sleeping.  I checked the TV room, down in the lower lever and nothing. Got a little freaked out when I realized I hadn’t checked Christine‘s room. They were both in there in bed sound asleep. Not a good feeling I know. Sorry it was a scare.
Yes, let’s talk Friday about the races and I can make a decision about them then. I might try to take the kids to the fun run and have^^^^watch &&&&& while I run the 8K if Christine is not able to watch them.
So! He took me out to dinner for my birthday February 12, and on February 14, he made dinner.  He had the kids since she was traveling and being important.  He left the kids at her house with her dad who was not in great health.  She finds out, calls him at work and lets him have it.  8 months later, when I meet her for the first time and she’s telling me how wonderful she is and whether my abuser  has told me about this or that, she switches gears to tell me how irresponsible he is to have left the kids alone with her dad.  She then blurts out he told her he was at a bar drunk.  At least one of us no longer needs to be important in his eyes.  At least one of us doesn’t believe a word that comes out of mouth.  Not sure which is worse, her insatiable appetite to win him over or his inability to stand up to her to go as far as lying to throw her off so she wouldn’t suspect he had his own life.
This sort of feces is exactly why I share all  the love books.  They are meaningless to me because he’s simply not capable of attaching or caring.  He pretends and mimics what he’s asked.
He lies as easy as he can breath….
On an unrelated note, that’s me! A few old pics and a few new ones.  The blond is a good friend who met the abuser – We had such a great time that night despite not running it by the ex first.  Anyway, I am practicing exposing my face and using my name in relation to my experience wit
h domestic abuse.  My abuser is irrelevant, but what I learned from the experience is not, and I think I can help others who find themselves in the same prison I was in.  I know I can because I am me! I am nothing like what they have made me out to be, and so, I am going to stand strong even though I am afraid of them.  At least that way, I still have my dignity.
xo
Vesta G.

 

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