I’m sharing these conversations because I was muzzled for so long and was told everything was my fault.  Even when he would confront her on the lies, he would blame and punish me for not letting go.  Plus, they are smearing my name and lying about who I am and what he did.  He has alienated me from mutual friends and a huge employer when he characterized me as unstable without mentioning he had assaulted me. I’m no longer muzzled and can share the craziness of the unhinged.  You be the judge. I think this behavior is barbaric.

From: Vesta
Date: September 13, 2016 at 5:01 PM EDT
To: Christine
Subject: Re:


Reaching out to see if you would be okay with my picking up the boys Friday at 4. I’m picking Vince up at the airport at 4:45 and would like to have the kids at home so we can surprise him and celebrate his birthday.  I can text the kids to let them know I’m there so that they can come out.

I know  they have hockey Saturday evening and if for some reason they can’t bring out their equipment I’m sure Vince can coordinate a time that is convenient for you Saturday to get what is needed.

Think about it and let me know.


From: Christine
To: Vesta
Date: Thursday September 14, 2016, at 6:11 AM EDT

I will be working at home on Friday so I will just drop them at his place at 4:00. R1 has a key so they will be able to get in. Does that work?

From: Vesta
To: Christine
Date: September 14, 2016 at 6:52 AM EDT

That works! I plan to be home, too, since I need to prepare a few things and get the boys caught up on what we’re doing before heading to the airport.

They can text if they need help bringing up their hockey gear.
Thanks again…really appreciate this.

Date: September 16, 2016 at 9:05:51 AM EDT
To: christine
Subject: R2-Chicken

Do you mind sharing the recipe/instructions on how you cook/grill the chicken that R2 eats?

When I cook I usually make a steak for him but tonight I prefer to make chicken so it blends in with what others are eating, and when we made a list of the foods he likes and will eat he specifically said he likes the chicken you make but didn’t know how you made it.  I’m grilling but can prepare his chicken however it’s made.




…Also. Vesta emailed me about a chicken recipe. I thought we had an understanding that she would not communicate with me unless absolutely necessary. Please remind her. I do not want to do so myself because I am sure it will start some sort of negative exchange. I don’t want to block her email again in case there is an emergency but will do so if need be. Thx


I’m sorry about your dad and of course I’ll coordinate to get the boys to see him this weekend if needed.



And will you mention to vesta re contact. I don’t know why she thinks something has changed

Ok…should I take that as a no?



I am flying back this afternoon and was boarding.  I’ll talk to her about it.  —



From: Vincent  <vincecom>
Date: September 16, 2016 at 8:29:27 PM EDT
To: Christine <christine.gmail.com>
Subject: Emails

I read the emails from Vesta and I think each were completely appropriate, cordial and were addressing needs for the kids.  I am not going to tell her not to contact you if she needs to for similar concerns in the future.


———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Christine <christine>
Date: Fri, Sep 16, 2016 at 10:29 PM
To: Vincent 


I never said that vestas emails were not courteous but week have an agreement that she is not to contact me unless absolutely necessary. I will not have any sort of relationship with her given past behavior. Clearly you are unwilling to deal with this so I wil just block her again.

K – You ask what I did?  I invited her to thanksgiving in 2015.  In 2014 I dared to try and work out issues between kids, and in 2013, I think I mentioned as an FYI her son felt responsible for her feelings.  Before that, I was born and dated her ex husband. OH I also asked her if she wanted him back because she acted like she did.  

Vince sent this to me before emailing it to her.  He sounds so sincere, doesn’t he?except I was punished by silence and later…doesn’t matter.  It’s all lies…he’s not earnest or honest. we got to this point because he was such a liar. 
Below is the email I will send.  It includes in my own words, nearly all topics you included in your sample email as well as several topics that I felt were important to address as part of this communication that you did not suggest.  Please read through it and I encourage you to appreciate that I am communicating what is important and what I believe has contributed to some of our challenges.  If taken honestly and earnestly by the recipient, may result in some beneficial changes but I hold out little hope for that.  Regardless, I will communicate this willingly and support everything communicated as my firm beliefs and desires.
Please confirm that you have read this and I will send it out tonight from my WF account once I know you have read it.

From: Vincent
To: Christine
Date: Thu, Sep 22, 2016 at 6:42 AM


As I mentioned earlier, my choice to put your desires to keep Vesta out of elements of my life and the kids life was wrong and has contributed to many of the difficulties we have experienced in the recent past.  I should have been stronger then in making it clear that Vesta was an important part of my life and that requests to prevent encounters were unwarranted and unhelpful.  My compliance with your desires fostered the sense of separateness with her that was hurtful to her and damaged my relationship with her.  Vesta does not lie and it is true I didn’t want for her to contact you when you two originally met.

This past week she spent so much time arranging for things for my birthday, both while I was in Des Moines and when I returned on Friday, concluding in a mini surprise party Friday night.  She was happy that her cordial, appropriate interactions with you to arrange for the kids to be there when I got home were reciprocated.  Your claim that she asked you about a chicken recipe was misleading as it completely left out the real purpose of the request.  Her ask about the recipe for R2 was not her trying to swap recipes but simply to do her best to accommodate R2’s challenges with food by not calling to attention to his limited palate and having him eat the same or similar differ as the rest of us all.  It was sweet of her to think about R2’s in that way and demonstrates her continuing care for both of the boys.  It took a lot for her to reach out to you given the animosity in the past but it was important to her for her and the kids to be able to surprise and celebrate with me.   Thank you for coordinating her to bring the kids to our place last Friday but I don’t believe it was necessary or helpful to take offense concerning a simple request.  If you do not wish to respond to a request you are free to let her know directly but I am not your conduit to communicate to her.

As I have mentioned, Vesta and I, along with the kids share a home.  We are a family.  She is my partner and isn’t going anywhere and I will continue to share with her.  Consequently it would be best for all to find a way to be cordial and operate as adults.  Moreover, if I am unable to pick the kids up or choose to have Vesta pick up the kids I expect her to do so without conflict or drama.  It is your right to request that she not enter your property and of course she will abide by that but it’s unnecessarily hostile and unhelpful towards establishing a cordial relationship and one that is sustainable.

Finally, if you are dating and leaving the boys with them I would appreciate knowing who they are and contact information in case I need to contact them for any emergencies.

I am emailing this from my W$&@ %#}{ account so there is no doubt about its provenance.  All other communications should go to and will originate from my gmail address.


My GOD! Why did I stay in such an ugly thing…

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