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Poems About Abuse

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Never Give Up

How do I explain something I can’t understand?
How do I explain that he hurt me in a way no one else can?
How do I explain the scars that run so deep?
How do I explain that they’re not something you can even feel or see?How I explain I am scared of seeing him because it still hurts so much?
How do I explain that he abused me, yet I still fell in love?
How do I explain that I miss the man who put me through hell?
How do I explain that he’s changed everything I thought about myself?
How do I explain that it’s not a matter of showing him up
or making him realize what he lost?
How do I explain that that’s not even relevant at all?
How do I explain that his words replay in my mind
every second of the day and every second of the night?
How do I explain that I hear his voice more often than I hear my own?
How do I explain he’s made me question everything I’ve ever known?How do I explain that I have flashbacks and nightmares,
even though it’s been a full year?
How do I explain that unrelenting fear?
How do I explain that it hits so deep into the core?
How do I explain that this isn’t just a battle?
It’s a **** war.But maybe I don’t need to.
Maybe I don’t need to explain myself to anyone
Not even you.
Because I alone know the truth
And maybe that’s enough
Because I am fighting for me
And I will never, ever give up.

Dear Survivor

Dear Survivor,
I see you.
I see the invisible pain you carry every day.
I see the fear that lingers in your eyes,
Never really feeling safe.
I see how you’re easily startled
How you look for his face in every crowd
How you want to disappear completely
Never to be found.Dear Survivor,
I hear your silent screams
I hear your cries into a pillow at night
I hear the soundtrack in your head
Replaying every moment and every fight.
I hear you wonder if this was all your fault
If you deserve the things he did to you
The put downs, the threats,
The temper tantrums he threw.Dear Survivor,
I know you.
I know your brokenness
I know the emptiness you feel
So heavy sometimes
You think it can’t possibly be real.
I know you have trouble getting up in the morning
But an even harder time falling asleep
I know it’s all you can do
Just to make it through the week.Dear survivor,
I believe you
Even if nobody else does
I believe you with every bone in my body
You did not make this up.
I know that others may question
That they may not be believe
But I hope you will tell your story
I hope that you will speak.

Dear Survivor,
You are stronger than you know
And you are beautiful right here and now
You had the strength to walk away
You had the courage to get out.
Now I may not know a lot
But believe me when I say
That this was never your fault
And you are going to be okay.

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Sick of it

Sometimes
I just get sick of it
sick of seeing you everywhere
sick of pretending
that I don’t even care.
sick of the pain
haunting me all the time
sick of your name
keeping me up at nightsick of the nightmares and flashbacks
running through my mind
sick of always asking,
God, please tell me why?
sick of the hoping
that things will get better
when I feel like I’m choking
trying to keep it together
sick of the silence
I just want to speak
tell the truth to the world
say what he did to me.sick of people who don’t get it
saying “get over it, forget it”
sick of feeling
like I’m so damn pathetic
sick of being told to move on
like it’s so damn easy
“Time heals all wounds”
A load of crap, believe mesick of the heaviness
weighing down on me
sick of the emptiness
you’ll never know or see
sick of faking it
pretending to be okay
sick of all these words
I still need to say.

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Saturday at 9 a.m.

I saw you again.
Saturday at 9 a.m.
Your head was down
Eyes pealed to the ground
Your face hiding from the cold
Or maybe something else,
I don’t really know.
But from my car
You never looked so small
The man I remember
Wasn’t even there at all.My heart breaks for you.
Never have I ever
Loved another man
the way I loved you.
But I could not accept
The hell you put me through
Day in and day out
Enduring your abuse.You don’t want to be this way
I know it in my heart
But sometimes
The only way to change
Is to let yourself fall apart
Which you will never do
You are all too proud
To admit the truth.
No matter how hard I tried
I couldn’t save you.Now I’m not going to lie
I feel kind of pathetic
Because after all this time
I just can’t forget it.
Whether I like it or not
I am still holding on
To the good that was there.
Despite all you did wrong,
I still care.

So on a Saturday at 9 a.m.
My heart was broken all over again.
Because I feel like I am grieving a dead man
Maybe in some ways,
I am.

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On New Year’s Eve

I remember
I remember
You
Me
One year ago
Last New Year’s Eve.A lifetime ago it seems
But I remember every minute
Oh so clearly.
I had a burn on my arm
From the lab’s liquid nitrogen
But by the end of the night
It all felt right again.
We danced and kissed
There was magic in the air
On the verge of something amazing,
Something rare.
We wore tacky gold hats
And before long I was falling,
Just like that.
You walked me home
Arm around me
Shielding me from the cold.
Your lips on mine
My head was spinning
Little did I know
It was just the beginning.But as the months wore on
Something in you changed
Something,
was terribly wrong.
You were not who I thought you were
The man from New Year’s Eve
Was all a blur
As the monster within you
Began to emerge.You may have called me a princess
But I never felt like one
Not when you pushed me down the steps
Or hurt me when you were drunk
Not when you grabbed me and made me scream
Or when your roommate had to tackle you
And I fell to my knees.

I don’t know where you are tonight
Or what you are thinking.
But I hope you remember everything
And I hope it tears you apart
So maybe you’ll see
What you did to my heart.
You wanted to start again
But you couldn’t do it
And in the end,
You simply blew it.
You could’ve had it all
But you threw it away
And no, it wasn’t my fault
This time, I will not take the blame.

As you once told me,
Sometimes,
The reward is not worth the cost.
And this New Year’s Eve,
I hope you realize what you lost.

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Ten seconds

Did you know?
Ten seconds is enough
To make you feel
Like you’ve been hit by a bus?
Or punched so fiercely in the gut?
I take that back
It can do all of the above.I knew there would come a day
When I would run into you
And see you face to face.
And today,
It finally came.
Our eyes locked.
We were both surprised.
Racing thoughts
Filled my mind.
In those few moments
My world went numb
And time stood frozen
Did you know?
Ten seconds is enough
To break the already broken.No words were said
But my heart was screaming in my chest.
Because though I try,
I just can’t forget
Everything we had
The good and the bad
You, a man with two sides
Kindness and anger
So closely intertwined
Made all too clear
that horrible night
When you went too far
The cops ending up
In my backyard
And you driving off
In your run-down car.All I know is
I would take anything in the world
Over what I’m feeling right now.
Anything at all,
Without a doubt.
I’m falling down the rabbit hole again.
Wounds that never healed
Now ripped right open
Did you know?
Ten seconds is enough
To break the already broken.

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Broken Eyes

Broken eyes.
Yours and mine.
You couldn’t see.
I didn’t want to believe
You had such darkness inside.I see with broken eyes.
All the times you held me,
Tainted.
All the memories,
Faded.
Into oblivion,
Into an abyss,
Leaving me wondering,
Did they even exist?Master of manipulation
Captor of my self esteem
Never would I ever think
you would be capable of such things.
But my eyes were broken,
Set on the path I had chosen
Not looking back.
Suspended in time,
Frozen.Call me pathetic.
Call me weak.
You’ve already said it all to me.
And though I mourn you,
Though I weep,
I can finally see
No longer blind
To your demons inside
Only visible
Through your broken eyes.

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I am Not a Victim

For all the times
You made me afraid
And feel broken inside,
For those horrible nights
You became a monster before my eyes
For how hard I tried
to show you a different way
For when I tried to speak
But you could never listen
Now I have one thing to say:
I am NOT a victim.For all of your threats
For all of your rules I never met
For all the times I was never enough,
For all the times you hurt me and called it love
I am not a victim.For the times you put your hands on me
For the times you didn’t respect me
For the times I felt degraded,
Used,
And manipulated
I am not a victim.For that time in the park
when you wouldn’t let me be
How you would touch me in the car
To prove that you owned me
For that night in the bar
When you grabbed me in front of your friend
For the awful things I would tolerate again and again
I am not a victim.

You may have changed me forever
You have hurt me in ways
I will always remember.
But you have not destroyed me.
You have made me a fighter
One foot in front of the other
I have become a survivor.

You had me in chains.
But I have broken free
And one day this pain
Will be nothing but a memory.
I will live my life
My story is waiting to be written.
A bad thing happened to me
But I am not a victim.

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Letting Go

I am letting go.
I am closing the door
Finally I know
You can’t hurt me anymore.I am moving on
And I am walking away
Because what you did was wrong
Make no mistake.
Love is not possession
Or always being threatened.
Love is not controlling me.
Or reading my texts
Love is not making me do things
I soon regret.
Love is not hurting me when you’re drunk
And making me feel unsafe
Love is not always having to be enough
And always being afraid.
It’s not silencing my voice
And making me yours to own.
So you have left me no choice
I have to let go.I will not be your victim anymore.
I can see through the lies
You once made me fall for.
I am not holding on
And I am not looking back
What doesn’t kill you makes you strong
I guess there is some truth to that.
This is over once and for all
And inside I know,
This was never my fault.They say that nothing is written in stone
Maybe this is true
I don’t really know.
But either way,
I am finally
Letting go.

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If only they knew

If only you knew
The things I have been through
If you only you knew
That I have been abused.
The words taste like acid in my mouth,
But I will not be ashamed
I will say them aloud
Because you had no idea,
Did you now?If only you knew
That this man is someone you know
Someone who works in this building
In a lab just three floors below.
If only you knew
That I am scared to walk in every morning
That I jump every time my phone rings.
That nowhere is safe anymore
Because this is a man
Who has been charged before.
A man with violence
Rooted in his very core.If only you knew
That this man put his hands on me
When I told him not to.
If only you knew
The twisted things he would do.
That he has hurt me
In every way he could find
If only you knew
About that horrible night
When he became a monster right before my eyes
That he was so full of rage
Even the cops came.
And since then,
Nothing will ever be the same.So I apologize
If sometimes I forget things
Or to follow minor rules of our lab
But I have been a little busy
Trying to not get attacked.
So please don’t yell
And please don’t be mean
Because I’ve spent months
Trying to stand on my own two feet.

So now you know
The hell I have been through
But don’t cast your doubts
I will still fight
And I will find a way out
But I ask you to be kind
Because you had no idea,
Did you now?

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Fighting Back

Anger boiling under my skin
Like a volcano about to erupt.
Let it out, I’ve held it in long enough.
My pain is ready to be unleashed.
This is it.
Don’t you dare try to stop me.I will yell until my face turns blue.
I will scream at the top of my lungs.
Until the whole world knows the truth about you.
I will expose your lies.
The words you made me fall for.
I’m not going down without a fight.
That’s not who I am anymore.I will get retribution.
For me and the other girls you’ve hurt.
I will not stop
Until justice is served
Until you pay for what you’ve done.
Don’t think I’ve given up
For the battle has just begun.

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little white lie.

Go ahead
Ask me how I am.
Don’t be scared, dear friend.
For I have rehearsed my reply:
I am fine.
I am better.
Look at me,
How well I’m keeping it together.
Oh so easily you believe my lies
Because who wants to be around a dead girl?
So look away, close your eyes.Everyday I go to work
I go to class.
Three months later
And I’ve perfected my act.
Because I must be healed
Three months is long enough
It is time to get over
His true but abusive love.They say,
Be glad you’re out.
Be relieved
That he hasn’t bothered me.
Oh, they are really quite naïve
Do they not know,
That the fear blocked out the empty?One thing I’ve learned
Is that we see what we want to see.
So their foolish minds
have no choice but to believe me.
To look past the pain
Even though it’s still there.
It’s not their fault
I know they do care.
But the truth
is too difficult to bear.

So go ahead
Ask me how I am
Don’t be scared, dear friend.
I will give you the same old reply
Really, what harm can come from a little white lie?
Yes, dear friend,
I am fine.

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The Cross We Bear

Maybe you’ve never really thought about it.
Maybe you have and you just don’t care.
But whether you accept it or not,
As women, there is a cross we must bear.It’s when a guy on the street whistles at you,
when you’re only 13.
when he calls you a ****,
for not answering.
It’s when a stranger at a bar grabs your chest one night
And people just look the other way.
It’s when your shirt is a little too tight
And the cops say it’s your fault that you were raped.
It’s when a co-worker tries to sleep with you
and harasses you for 3 years when you tell him no.
When your boss hits on you
when you’re in his office alone.
It’s when your boyfriend becomes aggressive,
just because he can.
When he abuses you over and over
And gets away with it,
Because you’re a girl and he’s a man.These are the things we must deal with.
Things that people tend to just accept
and never really question.
But listen to me,
It is time to wake up.
It is time to care.
Because enough is enough.
This isn’t right and it simply isn’t fair.
It is time to rise above
The violence and abuse
That happens every second and everywhere.
It is time to create a world
where being woman
Is no longer a cross to bear.

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Stupid girl in love

Stupid girl in love.
I, the biggest fool there ever was.
Thought I could believe.
Thought I could trust.
Didn’t know
No one is safe.
For a girl can be hurt in so many ways.
Stupid girl in love.Now I watch others do the same.
Get swept away.
Get played.
Accept what isn’t right.
All for the sake
Of pleasing a guy.
Don’t you know,
Love makes you blind.
Can’t see a thing
With broken eyes.So trust mine.
I have seen the signs.
I have lived the fights.
For there’s always two sides
A man can have.
Don’t look the other way
When you see the bad.To all the girls in love,
Always remember,
That you are enough.
And if he tells you you’re not
Then don’t look back, give him up.
Do not be the girl I was.
Stupid girl in love.

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On your birthday

I know what day it is.
How could I forget?
Though you may be gone,
I’d be lying if I said I’ve moved on.
I had your gift picked out for months
Your card in my dresser drawer
I guess I don’t need it anymore.I don’t know if there’s any point in writing this.
You’re not going to see it.
But on the off chance you do,
I’d want you to know
That right now I’m thinking of you.Thinking of where you are.
But I already know.
You’re going from bar to bar.
Today is a reason to celebrate, after all.
But deep down you know
Your act is nothing but a show.
For with each drink,
You try to numb and erase
All your suffering,
All your pain.
You know it won’t work
But you do it anyway.I know what you’re thinking
That today you’re 31,
Older and even more alone.
And now you’ve lost
The one real thing you’ve ever known.
All I wanted was to save you
Give you all my love
But you couldn’t accept it
It was never enough.
For there’s no way to save a man
Determined to self-destruct.

If I could make one birthday wish for you
It’s that time will heal all your wounds
And by your past you will no longer be haunted.
And you’ll somehow find a way
To get everything you’ve ever wanted.
I guess there’s nothing left to say,
But,
Happy Birthday.

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Never Again

Never again
Will you do this to me.
What you said.
What you did.
Never again.
I promise you this.Never again will you tell me what to do.
Never again will you touch me when I didn’t want you to.
Never again will you put your hands on me in public
Or grab me in the car.
Never again will you hold me down
And push my limits too far.
Never again will you jump on me at 6 am
When I’m barely awake
No way to defend.
Never again will pull your belt on me
Push me and shove me
Saying it’s okay
Because you love me.Never again will you own me
Touch me and say “you’re mine”
It was sick and twisted
And just plain not right.
Never again will I be your slave
Your eternal punching bag
A pawn in your game.
A game I could never win
For the rules, you always changed.I am stronger than you give me credit for.
And I say never again.
I am worth more.

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Light a candle

Tonight I light a candle for you
I remember everything you wanted
And all you went through.Tonight I light a candle for you
I pray that you will move on
And do all the things you’ve wanted to do
That you will no longer feel broken
No longer feel dead
But alive and full of joy
Instead.
I pray you will be more
Than the abuse you endured.
That you will let go
Of your anger and your wrath
That you can be the person you want to be
And no longer believe that you are bad.
Because you’re not.
When it comes down to it,
You’re just stuck
Perpetuating a cycle you never chose
But you can’t let go.
No matter how hard you try.
We do the things we know.Tonight I light a candle for you.
That time will heal your pain
And kindness mend your wounds.
Remember my love,
The only way out is through.

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Temptation

Tug of war
My heart and yours
Disbelieving
We are nothing anymore.
3 floors between
An eternity it seems
How easy it would be
For one of us to stop by
But you won’t give in
Neither will I.I know you want to see me
I want to see you
But I also know what you will do.
You will brutalize
And manipulate.
You will make me believe your lies
Con me back into your game.
When I’ve worked so hard
To get away
Theoretically free
Exactly fifty daysBut I am not free
And neither are you
I know what you want
I want it too.
The heart wants what it can’t have
And today,
I’ve never wanted you so bad.

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7 weeks

7 weeks ago today.
The last time I saw your face
What are you thinking right now?
Where are you?
Are you working all the time?
Are you drinking to fill the nights?
Slipping back into your old ways
Like nothing ever happened
Nothing ever changed.I guess I can relate
It seems like it was all a dream
All an illusion.
Maybe on some level,
It was.
We made believe
We had created a fairy tale
And if we believed hard enough
It would be everything we wanted.
Only to get burned away and torn up
Ashes emerging, turning to dust.I remember everything though.
I remember the weekend we played in the snow
I remember our trip to the palace
Your obsession with the fluffy white bathrobes
I remember every night you held me close.
And looked deep into my eyes
Like you saw right into me
Into my heart, into my mind.I guess I never really saw yours.
You were another person.
The real you
Could only be found behind closed doors.
And no one else could see.
For the mask you wore
Was so perfectly made
That I never doubted
You were my biggest mistake.
That I closed the door on
7 weeks ago today.

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Just Listen

Please hear me,
Dear friend.
Do not judge
Do not blame
Just listen.The man you know,
The man I loved,
Is not who you think.
He has done things
Things you would never believe
Because they are things
Only a girlfriend would see
He would never do to you
What he has done to me.This man, your friend,
Hurt me in more ways than one
Has caused me pain
That cannot be undone.
You have not seen his eyes change
Fill with blackness,
Fill with rage.
You were not there,
The times he threatened me,
That night the cops came.You have known me for a while.
You know I am not a liar
You know I am not a child
I don’t cause trouble just for fun
Or play games of the mind.
So tell me,
Why do you not believe me this time?
Is it because I’m the girl
And he’s the guy?

As with everything,
There are always two sides
I know you’ve heard his.
Now hear mine.

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Left Behind

Three engagements,
Five weddings,
Four babies on the way.
I wish someone could tell me,
When did everything change?When every facebook announcement,
Every wedding invite,
is a notice to remind
That they are doing things right.
That they figured it out,
This thing called life.
Every milestone being reached,
Right on time.Part of me envies them.
They’re not alone.
Everyday,
They get to come home
To someone who loves them.
When they feel sad,
They have someone to hug them.
And every night,
They have someone to sleep next to.
I have no one.
Unless you count my childhood bear,
Winnie the Pooh.Sometimes I wonder,
Did I fall off the path?
Did I miss the signs?
Saying to grow up, it’s time?
When did they move on?
Marriage, babies, amazing jobs
What did I do wrong?

Will I have these things?
I honestly don’t know.
For right now,
I’m alone
Nestled on my couch
With Netflix and a bucket of pumpkin flavored fro yo

They tell me I’m still young
Only 25.
Trust,
That all things happen in time.
Easier said than done,
When life happens for everyone.
And you watch from a distance
Emptiness in your eyes,
Hoping one day,
You’ll be on the other side,
And no longer,
Left behind.

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A Thousand Times Broken

What do you see?
Open your eyes.
Look right into me.
Do you see the bruises?
Do you see the scars?
Can you see
The aching in my heart
The pain that goes unspoken
Look real hard.
Do you see?
That I am a thousand times broken?He left me shattered and haunted
He took away
All that I wanted
So fast yet so slow
Caught by surprise
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.I don’t know if he’s thinking of me.
But either way,
I refuse to believe
That he’s not hurting too.
But what he said and what he did
Are things I could never forgive.
He can’t take them back.
Not that it matters
He didn’t even try to fix it.Now I have known heartache,
of course.
But that’s not what this is.
This is something more.
This is feeling raw down to my very core.
And it never stops
It never lets up
Because how could I forget
The man I both feared and loved?

They all say,
That the scars will fade
And the pain will end.
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe them.
Not now, not this moment.
When life keeps going,
But I stand still, frozen.
So look at me,
Look again.
Now do you see?
That I am a thousand times broken.

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Not Me

I thought it would never be me.
I was too smart
I would surely see
I could not be fooled
No, not me.I thought it was obvious
How to spot a man like you
I mean really,
How hard could it be?
I could not be so blind.
No, not me.But you were charming
And you knew what to say
Mesmerized, you had me under your spell
And so, like the girls before me,
I fell.I fell so hard and I fell so deep.
For those first few months
Everything was just a dream.
They told me don’t rush
Things are not always what they seem.
But I knew what I was doing
I would not be deceived.
No, not me.

Then day by day,
You started to change.
You had a dark side
I saw it in the things you said to me
The things you did
I saw it in your eyes.
Still I tried to ignore
when you were angry
when you were mean
It would go away, I was sure.

But it never disappeared
It got worse and worse.
I could no longer play pretend
Though it killed me, it had to end.

If there’s one thing I learned,
It’s that it’s not so easy
To spot a man like you.
There’s no sign on your face
Saying “I abuse.”
But there were always signs
Things I saw but didn’t want to believe
But I am no longer blind.
And I am NOT weak.
And this will never happen again.
Not to me.

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Untitled

Pressure
Bearing down on me.
Heavy
Suffocating
Can’t breathe.
Images of you
Us
Distant memories.This happens often.
Flashbacks
Of the good and bad.
My heart still mourning
Everything we had.I was your prisoner back then.
But truth be told
I still am.
Every thought,
Moment,
Breathe,
All filled with you.
Even now,
You won’t let me rest.I tried to save you
To heal thirty years of wounds.
But that is something no one can do.
After months of trying,
I finally came to.

It was too late.
You were broken beyond repair
You said it yourself.
There was nothing left to save.
For there was nothing even there.

I know you will never believe,
But I loved you more than anything
For everything you were
And all that you were not.
I will always love you.
I could never stop.

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Once upon a time

Once upon a time
There lived a princess
Up in a tower high
Except the princess was a grad student
And prince charming
Was a lie.Though she seemed content to all,
With her pipettes, rats, and cells
She was lonely as could be.
And so,
When the chance befell her,
And a charming man caught her off guard,
She fell head over heels
Straight into his arms.Sumtangui and stargirl were their names.
They snuck kisses in the stairwell
Hugs in the elevator.
Almost getting caught,
By a committee member.A neuroscience romance they had,
Prince and princess of the lab
But before long,
It started to go bad.

It was slow at first.
His tone, his look, his words
Starting to change
Starting to hurt.
The princess tried to ignore it
Refusing to give up the fairy tale.
Like their experiments,
They couldn’t afford to fail.

But the tension was building
His anger unrelenting
The prince had a dark side
That he could no longer hide.

He hurt his princess,
In more ways than one.
She could no longer deny,
That their neuroscience romance
Was done.

She still thinks of the prince,
Of her sumtangui,
Everyday.
Missing the times,
When he was okay.
But it wasn’t him.
He wasn’t a prince.
He was a man with demons
Hiding within.

So the princess is back in her tower
Trying to stay strong with all her power.
Back with her pipettes, rats, and cells
Wishing with everything,
She had never fell
For the prince who was a lie,
A man who could never be,
Her once upon a time.

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I Am Enough

I am enough.
I will say it over and over,
Until I believe
That I am not what you told me:
I am not clueless, oblivious, stuck in my own stupid world,
Unable to love, care, show compassion, or be a normal girl.
I will not believe
That I am all of those things.There is nothing wrong with me.
Maybe I’m not like you
But you know what,
I don’t want to be.
I don’t want to yell, scream, hate,
Control, abuse, manipulate.
I don’t want to put down and degrade
Just to gain control.
Because you know what,
Time will take its toll.
And you will lose everyone
Like you lost me.
Maybe someday you will see.
But most likely not
Either way,
I am enough.I am not bad and I am not worthless
In fact, I don’t deserve this.
I deserve someone who appreciates me
Who doesn’t want to change me.
Who doesn’t put me down,
But builds me up.
Because, you know what?
Unlike you,
I can love.
And I am enough.

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Words

You once told me,
That words matter.
Above all else,
Words have power.
I didn’t get it then,
But when the love turned to fear,
Your message,
It became crystal clear.You used your words as a weapon.
To put me down,
Push me around,
Manipulate,
Control,
Hate.Though it took awhile,
I finally learned.
This is not what I deserve.
And just like you,
I can use my words.I will speak and I will tell.
So that the women who cross your path,
Do not fall the way I fell.
Into your trap.
Into a dark prison.
You held me under for so long.
But I have risen.

I will not stay silent.
I will not let you get away with what you did to me.
Because you will do it again,
Hurting girl after girl.
With me, it ends.
You have taken everything.
You have kicked me to the curb.
You have made me bleed until it no longer hurt.
You have taken everything from me.
But you cannot take my words.

When I am too tired to speak, I will write.
When I am too pained to breathe, I will fight.
You will not win.
The tide has finally turned.
You have taken everything.
But you cannot take my words.

I will not hide.
And I will not be ashamed.
Yes, I fell for your lies.
But I ended the game.
And though I may be broken,
You made the mistake.
For now I see,
Through all the fights, the anger
And the screams,
Words,
They are everything.

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Souls

Have you ever had a person steal your soul?
I have.
Now, what you may not know
Is it doesn’t feel so bad.
It always starts slow.
Change this.
Change that.
It’s better for you this way.
That’s what he would say.
So I believed
What did I know?
He was older.
He was more experienced.
Of course he knew better.So I changed.
Piece by piece
I followed the orders exactly:
No more pink.
No more being silly.
I must be mature.
I must go dancing.
Heels and lace,
I must wear.
Thought I had no interest at all.
I really just didn’t care.I did it for him.
I tried with all my heart
To become the person he wanted.
Until I fell apart
Until he stripped away everything that made me unique.
And made me into his mannequin,
That he could mold to this liking.
The transformation,
Rather striking.A zombie,
A doll,
Call it whatever you want.
Without a soul,
There is nothing at all.
Empty, vacant stare,
A mere shadow of what was once there.

You may not notice.
But we are everywhere.
In the streets,
Schools,
And especially,
In perfectly manicured homes.
But what you wouldn’t know,
Is we have all been robbed,
By the men we have loved most.
So slow,
That even we did not know.
So this I ask of you,
Please find what they stole.
Please,
Find our souls.

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 4 

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Until Then

You will never understand
Until you’ve been beaten down
And shoved around
Told you’re not enough
By the person that you love
Until then,
You will never understand.Until he lays a hand on you
When you told him not to
Until he shoves you out the door
And his roommate has to tackle him to the floor
Until then,
You will never understand.When he bangs on your window trying to get in
When you tell him to go away
But he won’t listen
When the cops come and intervene
Between the one you love
And the things you should have seen.When the dream turns to a nightmare
The love vanishes into thin air
The sweetness turns into cruelty
And you still hang on
Desperate,
And, hoping its not what it seems.

When you try over and over to please him
But nothing ever does
All your efforts
Well they just turn to dust
And you still fight and you still cling
For a future that cannot be
The man you love,
he really isn’t who he seemed
and the worst part, is no one would ever believe

He hid it so well
A master of disguise
Even I, fell under his spell
But I have woken up
I can see the truth
This isn’t love
This is nothing but abuse.

They say there’s plenty of other fish in the sea
But they don’t understand
I’m worthless, that’s what he told me
I can’t love, I can’t give
When that’s what I thought I was doing
Hoping my heart could find a way to save him.

So please don’t tell me that you understand
until you’ve seen the things I’ve seen
until you’ve been stripped raw and left on the street
until the only way out, means leaving your man
until then, you can’t understand

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