Uncategorized

To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man Posted by Alex Jean Ecton

To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man
🔊 Listen to Post

Some days I wonder if I will ever fully be myself again, and unfortunately, those days seem to be happening more than I would like to admit. Yes, relationships take a lot of work but relationships are supposed to be fun. When you are with the right person, relationships are simple. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship that they are afraid of their partner, yet that is more and more common these days. I am ashamed to admit that I stayed in a relationship that I was fearful of the man I was with.

All it took was one day, one day where I had enough courage to walk away. Walking away was the best decision I have ever made, I had let someone take so much from me, and if I didn’t have the courage to walk away I don’t know where I would be today.

I dated someone who made me lose my self-worth.

I lost my smile that once lit up any room I walked into because he couldn’t stand to see me happy. My smile was a bother to him. Once he charmed me into falling for his act he knew he had me hooked and he knew he could manipulate me. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger and he knew I wouldn’t leave. Because of him, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore because he made me feel lower than I ever knew was possible.

I dated someone who made me lose my self-confidence

Because of him, I lost my self-confidence and care-free attitude. I was the girl that ‘didn’t deserve to be told compliments because I didn’t need them.’ Because of him, I felt worthless.

I dated someone I thought I knew.

I spent so much time convincing myself that he was going to go back to the man I had first met that I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was impossible. I so badly wanted to believe that it was all just a phase, but it wasn’t.

I dated someone who I didn’t even know who he was.

The man I first met wasn’t him; it was who he wanted to be perceived as. He turned out to be nothing but a liar and a cheater. I constantly made excuses for him and disregarded his wrongs. I wanted him to so badly be the man he pretended to be that I was blind. And because of this, I made our relationship picture perfect on Instagram. I thought if I made it look perfect then it would be perfect. Because of him, I lied to everyone that asked me how we were. I lied because I thought if I lied about it enough it would be the truth. I deliberately chose to ignore all the signs because all I wanted to do was see the best in him.

I dated someone who made me question everyone.

Because of him, I realized that maybe some people just don’t have any good. Because of him, I stopped being the person who saw the best in everyone. The person who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.

I dated someone who was incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

I thought if I just brushed everything aside and loved him with everything in me that it would make him love me back. It took forever to understand but I now understand that it is impossible to make someone love you who only knows how to love themselves. Because of him, I felt alone while being physically next to him. I was dating a man who refused to kiss me and refused to look at me. Because of him, he made me feel unworthy. No matter how many times I had a huge smile on my face and was excited to see him, I was never worth looking at. I was dating someone who intentionally put me down so he could have the power. It was like it was a game to him; the worse he could make me feel, the better it made him feel.

I dated someone who I let manipulate me.

Every time he bailed on me or ignored my calls he somehow made me feel as if I deserved it. He made me feel as if I didn’t deserve to be spoken to. Every time I questioned him cheating, he somehow turned it around to me. It was my fault he hid things because ‘if I trusted him, he wouldn’t have to hide it.’ It was my fault he messaged girls on social media because, ‘if I trusted him, it shouldn’t matter who he talked to’. He manipulated me into believing I was the crazy one.

I dated someone who made me stronger.

Because I left him, I feel even more empowered than ever. Because I left him, I remember what it’s like to be the girl who is always smiling but I remember the person who took that away. Because I left him, I got my corky sense of humor back. Because I left him I have met so many people that admire me for who I am and don’t knock me down for it. And never again will I tolerate someone who does. Because I left him, I know what it feels like to be truly loved.

Because it was in leaving him I learned to love myself again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Broken Journey to Grace

survivor, childhood trauma, grace, true story, inspire

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

The Last Straw

Support, Motivation, Tips and Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

#Speak

Break the silence. End the violence.

introvertflower

Embrace the shrinking violet within !

INVINCIBLE SHE.

You've got this girl.

The Perks of being Different

Just sharing some experiences :)

Pascale's Healing Journey

learning to thrive after narcissistic abuse

My Cup of English Tea

Setting up a Brand-New Life in London

Growing Self

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Zeckrombryan

Hope. Joy.. Feelings cloaked as words.

Panida

Life & Endometriosis

Freedom Within: My Journey through Domestic Violence & PTSD

A mum, a Survivor of Domestic Violence and a woman who battles PTSD. Sharing to Empower others.

Fairfax County Police Department News

Official News and Information from the Fairfax County Police Department

magicandbeauty

travels, books, cosmetics, promo, life

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

In A Messy World

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me.

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

A Broken Blue Sky

Poetry and Prose

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Site Title

love relationship happiness

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Free The Truth

A Truth Held Too Tightly Quickly Transforms To Escape Its Cage. Let Go Of Assumptions, Set The Truth Free, And Bask In The Brilliance Of Not Knowing

For Khi

“Some stories won't have a happy ending, but there's always hope that the next one will. Hope is everything. Even when there's nothing else. Especially when there's nothing else.” ― Clara Kensie, Aftermath

Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Your Story Doctor

Discover the Power of Writing

Healing Jessica: Stories Of My Life

“Part of the process in healing from trauma, like recovering from addiction, is developing connection and support with others.” ― Stephanie S. Covington, Beyond Trauma: A Healing Journey For Women

Writing Through Trauma

Post-traumatic Growth and Fiction Writing

winkingbees

Random thoughts on life as it matters

Gift of Light

"Let your smile change the world, don't let the world change your smile."

Simply Marquessa

Life is just a story. And I've got a pen.

barsetshirediaries

A site for the Barsetshire Diaries Books and others

Guest House

The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Abuse Survivor Community

Please Call 911 Are In Immediate Danger ~ National Hotline Resource Hub ~ Help Is Just A Click Away

WaveringParisian

Mental health. Self improvement. Life.

Broken Journey to Grace

survivor, childhood trauma, grace, true story, inspire

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

The Last Straw

Support, Motivation, Tips and Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

#Speak

Break the silence. End the violence.

introvertflower

Embrace the shrinking violet within !

INVINCIBLE SHE.

You've got this girl.

The Perks of being Different

Just sharing some experiences :)

Pascale's Healing Journey

learning to thrive after narcissistic abuse

My Cup of English Tea

Setting up a Brand-New Life in London

Growing Self

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Zeckrombryan

Hope. Joy.. Feelings cloaked as words.

Panida

Life & Endometriosis

Freedom Within: My Journey through Domestic Violence & PTSD

A mum, a Survivor of Domestic Violence and a woman who battles PTSD. Sharing to Empower others.

Fairfax County Police Department News

Official News and Information from the Fairfax County Police Department

magicandbeauty

travels, books, cosmetics, promo, life

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

In A Messy World

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me.

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

A Broken Blue Sky

Poetry and Prose

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Site Title

love relationship happiness

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Free The Truth

A Truth Held Too Tightly Quickly Transforms To Escape Its Cage. Let Go Of Assumptions, Set The Truth Free, And Bask In The Brilliance Of Not Knowing

For Khi

“Some stories won't have a happy ending, but there's always hope that the next one will. Hope is everything. Even when there's nothing else. Especially when there's nothing else.” ― Clara Kensie, Aftermath

Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Your Story Doctor

Discover the Power of Writing

Healing Jessica: Stories Of My Life

“Part of the process in healing from trauma, like recovering from addiction, is developing connection and support with others.” ― Stephanie S. Covington, Beyond Trauma: A Healing Journey For Women

Writing Through Trauma

Post-traumatic Growth and Fiction Writing

winkingbees

Random thoughts on life as it matters

Gift of Light

"Let your smile change the world, don't let the world change your smile."

Simply Marquessa

Life is just a story. And I've got a pen.

%d bloggers like this: