Abuser, Uncategorized

Killing the Power of Secrets


After having been with a habitual liar, who for the majority of the five years and 8 months I was with,  gaslighted me, emotionally battered me, and physically attacked me causing severe physical and emotional damage that continues to impact my daily life, I have come to recognize how choosing to be open and forcing myself not to own the shame he has tried so hard to force upon me has been instrumental in helping me heal – None of having been with someone I loved, and sometimes I believe still do, and thought loved me makes sense when I examine his actions.  It’s hard to stomach myself having been with someone whose actions spoke volumes in what I meant to him yet I listened to his words, which eventually stripped me of any self dignity and sense of self.  It has been a long journey to finally be able to forgive myself, and accept that I am not at fault for having loved a persona.  I had to accept that I spent more then five years of my life with a man who lacked empathy, compassion and integrity.  The persona I loved was a cover up for the devoid, detached, cruel and dangerous that he is.  When someone tells you over and over that they are earnest, honest and loving, after they lied, gaslighted or physically hurt you, their intent is really to avoid having to look in the mirror since they can’t face the truth of who they really are. Knowing your truth and being able to speak it, I have come to learn, sets you free.


Secrets breed pain and misunderstanding.  Seeing your story in writing or hearing it told through spoken word denies the secret of it’s power.  Stories should be told, pain must seek relief, and the shadowy world of dark secrets needs light.


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Another article about how they kill you…

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: THE QUIET KILLER by Aletheia Luna “Emotional violence is another kind of abuse … it’s not about words because an emotionally abusive person doesn’t always resort to using the verbal club, but rather the verbal untraceable poison.”  ~ Augusten BurroughsIt was after reading the above passage in a book I recently completed by Augusten Burroughs that… Continue reading Another article about how they kill you…


….and then he says he wasn’t abusive

He's a bully.  Verbally abusive bully who thinks he is better than anyone else.  He is mean and could care less about anyone other than himself.  I can name example after example of the things he said and did to me that match the list below.  I lived through it and am continuing to rid… Continue reading ….and then he says he wasn’t abusive

Abuser, My Story

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

I am glad to not understand or never be able to understand how people like him can sleep. About the Blog Categories Archives The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined of tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when… Continue reading The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse


Dear Vince…

Letter resonates...only difference is I'm still picking up the pieces...   Tyler Nix There has never been a single moment in which I wished I never met you. Even I find that hard to believe, but it’s the truth. Before you, I had nothing to hold up to the light and point to and say,… Continue reading Dear Vince…


Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist



After Narcissistic Abuse



Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.



Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and…

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“Covert narcissist makes their victim feel like they are the one with the problem whilst projecting a flawless character to everyone around them”

How to Recognize the Covert, Stealth, or Closet Narcissist Updated on December 1, 2017 Sparkster Publishing   more Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD." What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by complete and utter self-centeredness combined… Continue reading “Covert narcissist makes their victim feel like they are the one with the problem whilst projecting a flawless character to everyone around them”


Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

I didn't know this existed until after he assaulted me last December.  I didn't know people like this existed and I certainly had no idea I was in a relationship with someone who could do some of these things.  He tried to drive me crazy and at one point even told me to kill myself… Continue reading Murder: Death By Covert Abuse


Trying to suck me in…

He made his blog private after it didn't accomplish what he had hoped for. And yes, despite knowing its only intent to have been to draw me in, react or do something stupid, it still got to me, and I did react a few weeks after it was published leaving a tearful message asking what he wanted… Continue reading Trying to suck me in…


“new found strength is the greatest gift of the psychopathic experience…”

Via Psychopath Free   This topic comes from the Psychopath Free book, which is available on Amazon! Relationships with psychopaths take an unusually long time to recover from. Survivors often find themselves frustrated because they haven't healed as fast as they'd like. They also end up dealing with friends & therapists who give them judgmental advice about… Continue reading “new found strength is the greatest gift of the psychopathic experience…”