Despicable Behavior.

  - NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR -         8.25 Grateful 8.23 Grateful8.12 8.12 Grateful 8.11 Grateful 8.9 Grateful 4.28 meet me at gysy sallys' 4.8 Grateful 4.4 Grateful 4.3 Grateful 4.2 Grateful 4.1 Grateful 3.29 Grateful 3.28 Grateful  

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Dear Vince, "You show me how to LOVE"  No, I did not show you how to love. Your dear mother wins the award for that one so please give credit where credit is due because I certainly don't want any credit for how you love.  Your kind of loving is toxic and abusive and leaves... Continue Reading →

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Mind games.

Would have been so much simpler had he just deleted the damn playlist, but oh no.  He was jonesing for me so he had to change the title of the private playlist that I had to call Spotify for to get off my page and make it public because he knows I'm looking.  WTF! What... Continue Reading →

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I love Kristen's blog.  She writes with such clarity explaining with such detail every excruciating aspect of having been in a relationship with with a narcissist and what Narcissistic Abuse does to a person.    When I read her work  it's as if she has reached into the deepest part of my soul where the... Continue Reading →

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He almost killed me

I am "lucky to be walking and talking" are words my neurologist said to me today.  Words I am still wrapping my head around.  Facts are backed by medical professionals and not what my abuser says, is that the blow to my head from having been slammed into the wall so hard could have left... Continue Reading →

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Run, don’t walk. “Covert psychological murder is the most under-cover and unrecognized form of abuse that exists…”

Via Covert Narcissistic abuse Awareness and Healing November 29, 2015 ·  This explains the danger. Please don't just have a wish formulate a plan. Whether it takes a day or a year to carry it out. Whether it be just baby steps or giant leaps. When I was still in the situation because of being brainwashed I... Continue Reading →

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A crazy-maker is someone who makes you feel crazy to shut you down by constantly stirring up trouble and causing a negative outcome from their involvement and presence in any given situation – and they are relentless about it. ‘Normal’ doesn’t serve a Narcissist and their need for power and control, but CHAOS and ‘crazy making’ does! They are always the problem, but nothing is ever their fault. — After Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissists are “crazy-makers” and they thrive on negative and debilitating drama through the manipulation of real facts, lies, triangulating, backstabbing, betrayal, etc. This is all to support the crazy-maker’s agenda to divide and conquer, harm and disable, or essentially to destroy people and situations. This is their mechanism to divert reality in BOTH ‘one to […]... Continue Reading →

He raped my soul, physically maimed and emotionally gutted me, and had the audacity to say “kill yourself” so to put him out of his misery.

This is him and how he was when no one was watching.  This evil monster was driving me to the brinks of suicide going as far as telling me to kill myself.  If I sit with the sadness I have to face that I was conned.  I have to face that in a way I... Continue Reading →

JUST MOVE ON – the words that totally invalidate the process of recovery for a target/victim of this abuse. Validation comes from the support of other survivors, knowledge, education, introspection, and profession help if you need it — and most importantly the ability to use your voice and your words to completely purge out the destructive messages from your abuser. — After Narcissistic Abuse

  When a person tells a target/victim to just move on for instance, what message does that send? It says that what happened to you isn’t that important for you to be going on and on with all of your words and describing the details of your horrendous experience, etc. It is a total invalidation... Continue Reading →

“I” is for “Isolation” #atozchallenge @AprilA2Z #IfMyWoundsWereVisible

The Next Chapter

His tight death grip on my arm as we left the barbecue…

His crazy accusations at the top of his lungs…

The twinkle in his eye at my fear when he almost veered the car into the median….

Even now as I write this, just thinking about that look of imperceptible glee on Dex’s face makes me sick to my stomach…

Over the weeks that passed after the incident, I tried, tried and tried to forget about it but my mind kept flashing back to that day. The one and only other time I brought up “the incident” after the coffeeshop, Dex accused me of harbouring resentment and purposely choosingnot to get past it.

Stupid me tried even harder to prove him wrong and put more effort into showing him just how much I loved him. I won’t lie to you. I willfully ignored how our minor disagreements easily…

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He views himself as extremely  confident.  After all, gallup strengthsfinder said so. Great information to have when you're a "senior leader" -  Sad though if you live and treat your personal relationships as though you are a "senior leader." When he had to meet with his subordinates, those  who actually used the products he designed... Continue Reading →


I share because I hurt.  I share because I was treated as though my life didn't matter.  I share because I need to say this is what they did to me.  Not just him but his entire family treated me as though my life was worthless.  If you find yourself with toxic people like this,... Continue Reading →

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